|
|
you only wish you were me...
|
|
|
|
[23 Sep 2004|10:58pm] |
my amazing suspense as to what journal would be written in died. and i went away for the summer.
my life changed.
and..
oddly enough....
i like it now.
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| i'm just a worthless boy.. |
[21 May 2004|08:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
this place is a prison = the postal service |
] |
..and you know it. haha.
ps- banalwritings is also mine too fags. so add me. and it'll be a dignified mystery as to which one rachelle will write in next!! i'm sure you're all just that interested in it.
fucking cat scratch.
some people just really don't know when to shut up.
caribana. too many strawberry daquiris, pina coladas and margueritas for one day. especially becuase they were unalcoholic. shitty ass time.
i shouldn't be left alone because then i sit...and my brain starts thinking...thinking of..of....things that probably aren't true. things i wish would happen. things i dread happening. things that esacape me at the moment but i am well aware that they are the reason i am mentally insane. stupid thoughts. rot in hell i command you.
shut the fuck up she said.
ha.
oh fuck how i hate you.
i'm going for a walk with khalid.
<3
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| shut the fuck. |
[13 May 2004|07:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
just here |
] |
what the hell is the big deal with the famine anyhow? it's only 30 hours people. not long at all if you think about it. you've already done 11 hours [IF you've been loyal] and 8 of the upcoming hours are spent sleeping, so stop whining.
i had an overall bleh kind of day....
but more on the good side of bleh.
chemistry in the dark.
history in the cold.
dance in the heat.
and careers in the cold.
and lunch....laying in the sun's golden glow with alex.
i picked some daffodills. hoping some pretty boy would run up to me and kiss me because they were so pretty and somehow masked my unprettiness. but not one boy did.
well, one in value village.
he asked me if i was going to pay for those.
and i had to pay 3 dollars for flowers in a water bottle becuase he thought they were from the store.
stupid douche bag.
and i wonder if he'll think of me.
if he ever notices i'm not around.
eh. fuck it.
i can convince myself i don't love him.
i can convince myself i'm over him.
but can i convince you?
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2004|09:30pm] |
oh. so trendy.
go add banalwritings.
just do it.
|
|
Rape a goat
|
|
|
[22 Apr 2004|05:21pm] |
|
oh god sarah, i found this and just couldn't resist posting it. i may get killed, but it's wlel worth it. i hope you have a good laugh
HA!! and in your face bree! lol happy now?
|
|
26 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| someone call me! |
[22 Apr 2004|04:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weird...i am odd |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the hunger = distillers |
] |
oh boy. it's like a friday for me becuase i don't have to go to school tomorrow [however i need to take a ballet exam....i think i'd choose school in this situation] and i feel the need to go out. i'm not good with staying home anymore. i've finally emerged from my hermit phase. i want to be out. outside for the most part. it's so nice out.
a picnic.
i want to have a picnic [is it still called a picnic if it involves no food? where does the word picnic come from anyways? i want to know what it actually means....helllo websters]
anyone within the vicinity of newmarket/aurora/keswick/bradford/holland landing/stouffville do call! please! [8533358]
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| AHHHH!!!! |
[20 Apr 2004|11:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 yipeeeeeeeee |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
horns honking = happy leafs fans |
] |
HOLY FUCKLE!
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT!!!
I'M STAYING AT UHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my mom changed her mind and just realized that i'm the one thats fucked up, not the school. it really had nothing to do with the school, and it's not like newmarket has anywhere better for me to go.
FUCK RIGHT.
|
|
4 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| yes two. |
[20 Apr 2004|06:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
go go go go go! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Line & Sinker = billy talent |
] |
my brother is bawling for no apparent reason. i even offered him ahug and he refused. shocking.
may 1st [is my birthday incase you're clueless] bryan's band, set in stone, has a gig at johnny's poolhouse and bar. key word BAR. it's all ages so you can get it, and just find someone to buy you a beer and what not. BAR. go. ask me for details.
|
|
6 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
|
[14 Apr 2004|05:18pm] |
yes..i'm still alive.
but just so drained.
no emotion to put into writing this.
so fuck off.
no, not really.
if anything, please stay with me.
i could use your company.
44 days.
10 days.
18 days.
i wish the term day was erased from the english dictionary.
|
|
1 reported rape Rape a goat
|
|
| bored.... |
[12 Apr 2004|01:38am] |
LAST PERSON WHO....
Slept in your bed: taylor
Saw you cry: dominique
Made you cry: can't say..
Spent the night at your house: daniele
You shared a drink with: well, before i KNEW i had mono...sarah?
You went to the movies with: harrison [well today we're going]
You went to the mall with: ew. the mall.
Yelled at you: paul
Sent you an e-mail: daniella chai
You kissed: eric
HAVE YOU EVER....
Said "I love you" and meant it?: once
Been to New York?: in 3 weeks! not even!
Been to Florida?: yes
California?: yes
Hawaii?: yes
Mexico?: nope
China?: nah
Canada?: eh?
Danced naked?: in the privacy of my own room with no blinds, yes
Wish you were the opposite sex? just to see what it would be like
Had an imaginary friend?: hasn't everyone?
RANDOM
Red or blue?: red
Spring or fall?: spring
Last noise you heard?: hum of my lap top
Things you like in a guy?: smile, eyes, personality..
Do you have a crush on someone?: that's debatable
What book are you reading now?: lulaby - chuck paladink or something
Worst feeling in the world: being alone
What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: fuck
How many rings before you answer?: 3
Future daughter's name: alexiandra. or jane.
Future son's name: cameron. brad. brett. i like so many boy names
Are you a lefty, righty or ambidextrous?: ambidextrous...except when it comes to dancing...then i'ma righty
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: no, what is the correct way anyways?
What's under your bed?: boxes and bags
Siblings: jake, matt, peyton, maxine and the non-existant derek
Piercings: many
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: well....
THE EXTRA STUFF...
Do you do drugs? ocassionally
Do you drink?: occassionally
What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: don't wash my hair..
What are you most scared of?: drowning
What clothes do you sleep in?: boxers and a tank top
Who is the last person who called you?: harrison/laura
Where do you want to get married?: on a beach
If you could change anything about yourself what would that be?: my attitude towards the world
Who do you really hate?: jesus christ of latter day saints....i can only pick one?
Favorite number: 2
Been In Love?: deeply
What Type Automobile Do You Drive: yah i wish
Are You Timely Or Always Late: punctual
Do You Have A Job: somewhat
Do You Like Being Around People: depends..sometimes
Are you for world peace: if it was achieveable
Are you a health freak: neat freak, yes.
STUFF...
Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: some people haven't?
Have You Ever Cried Over Something Someone of The Opposite Sex Did: yep
Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: i don't think so, but according to rj, i do
Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: yes
Ever Liked a close boy/Girl Friend: hahahah, yes.
Are You Lonely Right Now: debateable....
Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: nah. if i don't, i don't
Do You Want Kids: yes.
FAVORITE...
Room In house: my bathroom
Type(s) of music: anything from ska to emo to metal to punk to old rock to screamo to alternative....
Memory: ...it involves a long awaited reuninon between me and someone
Day Of The Week: thursday
Color: black or red
Perfume and/Or Cologne: abercrombie, crave
Month: may
Season: summer
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU....
Cried: yes
Bought Something: dr.pepper
Gotten Sick: headache, stomache ache, muscle cramps, weird rashes, mono, you name it
Sang: in the shower
Said I Love You: to my step dad which automatically means i don't mean it, so no
Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: oh man. what a coincidental question. and katelyn knows why. holy yes.
Met Someone New: mmhmm, mike...although i'd met him before, it was brief and we didn;t even talk
Moved On: i suppose...
Talked To Someone: duh.
Had A Serious Talk: yeah
Missed Someone: yes.
Hugged Someone: yes.
Kissed Someone: grandparents....doesn;t count i don't think
Fought With Your Parents: yah, regular 5 minute occurence
Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: mmhmm
Had a lot of sleep: none. and it's 2:04 am.
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| what else can i say? |
[12 Apr 2004|12:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i'm begging you... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
a hole in the world = thursday |
] |
so i came to this huge realization today....like huger than huge....
and i can't do anything about it.
i tried.
but it didn't work.
maybe tomorrow.
i've had enough chocolate to last me all through university...and i'm wearing a hot pink polka dot dress that my mom got me for easter. why i'm wearing it is beyond me because my boobs aren't big enough and i'm too fat to look good in it....and mainly becuase it's 12:31 am...so who the hell is going to see me?
besides my stalker that it....
in the brilliant words of alex delory, i want someone to miss me. when i go to new york...i want there to be someone i'm leaving behind, someone that will think of me, and miss me. [alex said that before she went to paris, and i assured her that she had a ton of people who were going to miss her...but now i know what she was feeling].
daily observations:
i love you. i'm madly in love with you. will you have me? will you take me back? and forget everything? put up with my shit? and we can be happy again? please oh pretty pretty please.
with a cherry on top?
|
|
5 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| and i'm happy...incase you didn't notice... |
[09 Apr 2004|11:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
oh joyous me |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
joy to the world = three dog night |
] |
wow.
what a wonderful night
i was supposed to go to laura's...then that fell through...then i was supposed to chill with harrison...and that didn't turn out...sooooo i went over to mikes house with sam and john which was awesome. i don't even know why, we just hung around and watched ghost ship, but just sorta gabbed through it...i dunno, for some reason i felt really comfortable around them [even though i hardly know mike and john and sam lol]. i may sound like a dork, but there wasnt any superficial, pretencious shit tonight. and i loved that.
so thanks for an awesome night folks.
my mom and i talked about my..erm...smoking habits in the car last night aftr passion of the christ [or did i already mention that? oh well] . bah. oh well, she seems fine about it now...we blasted the forrest gump soundtrack on the way to mikes, so all is mellow between us. i like it when i get along with my family. i live for those few precious moments. my mom and i have those moments all the time, we're hardly ever mad at eachother....but even paul and i are getting along...uhoh....we're coming up to the 3 week mark...something bad's gonna happen...paul and i can only get along for 3 weeks, a month tops before something happens...and it's been....17 days....sad how i tally it on my calendar...sigh.
damn. i could go...run a marathon. or spread happiness around the earth. damn, why am i in such a good mood?! haha, ohhh goodness. i even thought of calling scott today. dialed the first 5 digits of his number before i hung up. almost. maybe tomorrow....
|
|
2 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| boourns [just for harrison] |
[09 Apr 2004|07:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 somebody call me, make plans |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
all apologies = nirvana |
] |
what a lovely day in the neighbourhood....
does anyone else remember mr.rogers in his crazy cardigans?
i sure do.
so today was spent wandering around newmarket with daniele...we left her house, made our way to mcdonalds where we ate ice cream and apple pies and got offered a free scooter..but politley declined....then offered again...then followed into mcdonalds....
and then we made chicken quesdillas and seasoned hash browns..and planned to have a luao this summer. ps-i can't wait for summer.
then i was supposed to go to dolan's house avec goldgrub et sarah...but alas plans fell through and i am trying to make plans with harrison since him and i had plans on monday...but then 20 people ended up wanting to come....so him and i may do something tonight.
other than that i'll be staying at home which is a drag because i blow-dried my hair all pretty. don't you hate it when you waste so much time doing your hair and it looks really good but you have no on to show it off to? ha. my hair never looks pretty...mainly because i don't care enough.
oh and i took out my dreads....
|
|
Rape a goat
|
|
| wish mom and paul fought more....then they'd get divorced too! |
[02 Apr 2004|11:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sooo happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
heaven knows [rise against] |
] |
so tonight i wasn't allowed to go out except for dance class...doctor's and mom's orders....soooo my mom and i watched forrest gump becuase, confession, although we OWN it, we've never actually watched it. i think i did once when i was 6 actually...but then again i don't remember. quite good. i enjoyed.
so we're just sitting there when the phone rings, and of course it's paul...he's out somewhere with my brothers so my mom and i were alone...oh joyous solitude.
so yah, she gets off the phone with him and is all pissed at him for some reason or another, sits down, presses play and simply says
"you're allowed to get dreads"
end of story. she didn't say anything else. and it's so weird because she really didn't want me getting them because she didn't want me to ruin my hair again.
so i asked her if she was serious and if she was going to go back on her word....which she quite often does. she'll say something spontaneously, and then revoke whatever that priviledge was the next day once she gains her sanity.
so i made a contract.
i even made her sign it, and by signing it, there's no way she can get out of it. we even agreed on this.
so i'm getting dreads.
um, with one small problem.
i don't have the money for them.
so maybe i'll just do them myself.
anyone got any tips/knowledge on dreads?
|
|
17 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| i can see clearly now... |
[01 Apr 2004|05:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
surprisingly wonderful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rape me [nirvana] |
] |
my observations of the day:
-so things are finally starting to look up.
-chem test tomorrow.
-history test tomorrow.
-civics presentation tomorrow.
-daniele's bday dinner tonight.
-i'm hungry.
-and i'm in a good mood.
-why the fuck?
-stacy's mom doesn't have it going on. (sorry wayne)
-mcdonalds coffee isn't bad.
-better and cheaper than the caf coffee.
-mike bloom's mom is getting more and more psyhcotic.
-ms.farwel has no idea how to mark critiques.
-i got an 86 in english and she gave me a 53 on a writing assignment.
-my mom wrote her nasty letter.
- =)
-i miss how close alex and i used to be.
-fries and mayo is okay.
**correction: fries and mcchicken sauce are okay.
-there are 3 bands with remarkably close names : the unsung zeros, the unstrung zeros and the unsung heros.
-i want to give john a hug
-kiki's shirt was the hideous. yes, the hideous.
-and i think it's time to take the post-it with ian's number on it down
|
|
4 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| nothing to tell anyone.. |
[30 Mar 2004|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
failing at everything... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
striptease {hawksley workman} |
] |
i haven't been writing lately...at all. mainly becuase all the thoughts i've been having lately i don't particularly want to share with anyone because i know the response will be bad/no one wants to hear my thoughts. so i've just been keeping them to myself.
i'm still reallt torn between huron and mulock. but now i HAVE to leave. the school told me i was no longer welcome in the arts yorks programme. normally they make exceptions to kids who wanna stay at uhs, but not in the arts program...but becuase of the whole fucked up incident, they're not going to make that accomodation. fine. there's no point in fighting it, i could totally win, but why would i want to stay somewhere where i'm not welcome? those were her words exactly "you are no longer welcome in the arts york dance programme" . wonderful. so i guess my mom wins. this is the end of my battle.
but i still need to decide...huron or mulock?
kiara!!!! let me know when i can come to your school to boogie down lol and "learn the ropes" as you put it....
|
|
6 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
|
[27 Mar 2004|08:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
skinny |
] |
okay, so you know those advertisements at the top of your hotmail inbox? ever seen the one and it's in black and white and there's pictures of people...like yearbook photos and it says something along the lines of "find your classmates" ....the last one, the one farthest on the right look exactly like alex gould. i swear to god it's him.
|
|
4 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| you'll miss me when i'm gone... |
[26 Mar 2004|08:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 smug |
] |
when i'm not around for you, you'll notice. i swear you will. i'll make you. you won't notice how much you need me untill you've thrown me away to the side. untill you ignore me. you don't know what you're missing out on. and i guess you'll never know.
i'm better than that.
better than you.
|
|
| mono is no fun... |
[26 Mar 2004|11:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick as a dog |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nightmare |
] |
so i've decided that i'm not too fond of getting mono. although missing 2 days of school is fun...i'd rather not be sick. another plus however is the fact that i've lost 5 pounds in 2 days. and there's no end in sight to my puking, so maybe i'll finally be skinny. temporarily. my spleen is swollen and it hurts. a lot. i get these random, sharp, shooting pains in my ribs...
.....which reminds me i have to call the doctor....
.....mike bloom's mom...shudder so awkward.....
...mulock? or huron?
later kids
|
|
24 reported rapes Rape a goat
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
vacancyhere's journal